We are going through a transformational period. The current pandemic has shaken us as a human race to the core. There is fear, lack of information, lack of clarity and mixed messages. And there is beauty in humanity’s compassion, kindness, generosity, transformation and love.
This week, I have been riding the roller coaster of emotions and processing a deluge of information and false-information. There is chaos. I have been saddened and hurt by scenes of hoarding, fighting, hurtful racist comments and selfish acts. I have felt both a sense of isolation and over-stimulation by yet another Zoom call. I feel relieved that I decided to tango one last time 2 weeks prior when I predicted that it’d be my last social dance in a while. I am grateful for my job and a beautiful cozy home to hold me. I am grateful that I have the resources (money, time and health) to buy extra groceries and treats to last 2 weeks. I am grateful for my health. I feel embraced and cared for by my supportive networks and friends.
What am I learning during this process about self-acceptance?
- Accepting the pendulum of emotions that are going through me each day. I have felt extreme emotions and reactions – from calm to panic. From feeling lonely to over-stimulated by apps and phone. From gratitude to frustration. From observation to being judgemental. From spaciousness to contraction.
- Accepting that as I, and the world, adapt to the new situation that it’s ok not to have things as planned/perfect. Getting-by and making do is perfect.
- Accepting that no one has the answer. Accepting the grey and messy. Accepting that we are in this for the long haul.
- Accepting that the chaos inside of me is reflecting the chaos external to me.
- Accepting that I am grounded and calm while there are a lot of disturbances on the outside.
- Accepting that I will not return to the ‘normal’ as I once knew. And accepting that a part of me doesn’t want to. And another part does.
I am grateful for having the space to learn this about myself. And I hope I can share a tiny part of my learning with you.
I leave you with this ancient wisdom:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the differenceSerenity Prayer
Image by Jean Sum